I’M ALREADY NOT THERE

Would you know me if I stood before you?

I don’t think so.

I don’t trust the paths we meet on anymore.

They are unreal and fickle.

Your reassurances are absent at every turn,

And yet, you ask me to be still,

And then, you call me remarkable.

I am lost in old thoughts about you,

Their barbs still dig into my skin.

I bleed every day,

And you?

Exist ephemerally,

But fixate my heart as if it were a kite on an unbreakable string.

Sometimes,

I feel like you want to contain me in a glass ball that fits into the palm of your hand.

A paperweight, you only pick up when your time lies vacant.

One day, I’ll explode and you will be left with the shards of my prison.

I will flood your world till I drown in it

Maybe then you will admit that I don’t really exist for you.

But really, you wouldn’t even know

Because I’m already not there.

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